Central and South American political positions. The ‘Deadliest Catch’

Keegan Orange — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:49:16 +0000

I wanted to avoid writing two articles in a row related to television. But since I’ve conceived this one, like that pregnant woman, after a while it just needed to GTFO.

Looking at the numbers of deaths each year for fisherman, like Alaskan King Crab Fisherman in the show ‘Deadliest Catch.’ It does really seem quite dangerous. But it is hard for me to really get excited about this show. Here is how an episode goes: Here comes a wave, whoa. Okay, here comes another wave. Oh no, this sure is hard work for a bagillion dollars an hour. Pfftb, getting paid that much and not learning how to swim, or tuck your pants into your boots, awards no sympathy from me.

Some other ‘deadliest catches’ include friendly trash collectors, whom repeatedly get run down by motorists. (Yeah, turns out they don’t all just fall in and get crushed to death as I thought, either).

HAHA, Yeah, it’s definitely dangerous. A while back I saw a guy get pinned between a trash truck and a telephone pole, it was horrifying. He lived, but spent six weeks in the hospital. – Matt Kinslow

Human crash test dummies also top the charts, and I’d like to note that 39% of fatal crash tests involved alcohol. (isopropyl, the laboratory DUI). Poor little life sized guys, with their soulless glass eyes, and funny looking color coded joints. Wait, what?

These all seem pretty legit. But I’d like to nominate Central and South American political or law enforcement figures to this list. I’d like to see a show titled ‘Deadliest Vote’ or even better, ‘Muerte Votación’ or something. I know in my heart this would be much more exciting to viewers than dodging waves in the North Pacific. All jokes aside. I try to picture at what point a Guatemalan citizen decides he wants to run for chamber of commerce, he must know he is only 20,000 votes away from being tossed off a balcony. A political checkmate known as ‘defenestration’. Maybe it is some intense patriotism, cockyness, or both. But maybe the way to make foreign political figures safer would be to sell a dramatized version of it to TLC.

-Keegan
07/14/2009

I want you to know, Out of respect for David Carradine, I removed the paragraph about Thai Hookers: the ‘Deadliest Snatch’. Maybe I’ll add it to the DVD extras.

Paying for TV makes you a sucker. Don’t worry, we are all suckers.

Keegan Orange — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:23:17 +0000

For the several months leading up to the mandatory digital television (DTV) changeover. Every station that broadcasted through airwaves pushed and pushed to make sure everyone has the required conversion box. It was a little appaling. With countdowns to the exact minute the switchover occured, sometimes even big scrolling letters stating “This TV is not equipped for the DTV changeover” God forbid someone goes minutes without their eyes glued to a set. Moresoe, these broadcasters have another opportunity to sell you a product. You have to go out, buy a converter box ( or even better a new DTV ready TV ). The government was generous enough to even gave out some coupons. Because they assume if you are still using rabit ears to get your half dozen stations, your trashy ass is probably busy scraping what little money it has for child support and that BK Big Fish Transformers have been trying to sell you on each of those channels,and of course they want to make sure that you continue to see your neighborhood go to shit on the 6 oclock news. ( Where were these subsidies when they required seatbelts be equiped in all motor vehicles? )

It seems like the option to not watch TV, is not really an option. I wont claim that I don’t watch TV or cable TV, because I do. I don’t recieve it at home, but it is hardest thing to get away from. Any time that I do, I feel it is a serious waste of time. The worst are the news stations.

If you enjoy TV, because yes there are definitely some entertaining shows. That is okay, simply enjoying something is just about the only reason you should need to do it. I just think it’s hilarious (and tragic) that you are paying out of pocket for it.

“The internet has shaken up the status-quo for sure. I wonder if the major media companies will come up with any sort of new business models for online content. They have been using the same business model for years”
-David Aslanian

Consider unsubscribing? Blasphemy, I know. Bare with me a moment. -Think what happens if large markets of people stop purchasing cable TV? Easily plausible with internet media outlets movements like ‘Hulu‘, the anticipated ‘The Video Bay‘, or less-than-legal-venues like ‘Surf The Channel‘. As more and more consumers realize they are getting a royal screwing, a change in the business model is the only option. Luckily I think you the viewer would benefit. Keeping your favorite shows, seeing less advertising, as well as them all being subsidised or free. ‘Cause right now you are stuck paying to watch advertisements.

-Keegan
07/10/2009

Hey, while you are up...? » Television

Central and South American political positions. The ‘Deadliest Catch’

Paying for TV makes you a sucker. Don’t worry, we are all suckers.