The following is a transcript from a less-than-impromptu interview on Twitter.
You can read the background and full story here: Part 1

@FauxSheriffJoe I know your poker buddies await you so I figured we’d get right to the questions if that’s alright with you.
@ohsuplauren My humidor thanks you for making this a no-nonsense thing. Also I think Mecham will eat all the wings if we don’t hurry.

@FauxSheriffJoe Why do you hate Mexicans?
@ohsuplauren:  “Hate” is a strong word. There’s more of them in AZ so statistically they get arrested more.

@FauxSheriffJoe What would your reaction be if the US proposed a combining of countries and changed out name to ‘Ameximerico?’
@ohsuplauren: I will rule over Maricopa County as the last true Democratic stronghold

@FauxSheriffJoe Is there a way to instill fear into the hearts of illegal immigrants without putting it into other legal Latinos/Hispanics?
@ohsuplauren: Crush all Dodge Caravans made before 2001.

@FauxSheriffJoe If you were going to smuggle some ‘Mexicargo’ into the country, how would you do it?
@ohsuplauren: K9 units can’t smell anything frozen inside ice blocks.

@FauxSheriffJoe Realistically, is it possible to locate/apprehend illegal immigrants without racial profiling?
@ohsuplauren: I compare immigration enforcement without profiling to trying to run a marathon without shoes. You won’t move fast enough.

@FauxSheriffJoe You’ve got an interesting history with the Phoenix New Times, care to remark?
@ohsuplauren If @PhoenixNewTimes put half as much effort into journalism as they did getting ads they’d qualify to cover the MCSO.

@FauxSheriffJoe Agreed. I have just a few questions left, if you don’t mind being slightly late to poker night. I hear it’s fashionable.
@ohsuplauren I don’t care what’s fashionable. The night might be shot anyway. J.D. Hayworth can’t fit his cheeks through the door.

@FauxSheriffJoe Do you offer tours of Tent City, or do I need to actually commit a crime to come visit?
@ohsuplauren What would Tent City be without tours? Prepare to be treated like a steak dangled before wolves, however.

@FauxSheriffJoe Is it possible to pick up a decent signal from KJOE in Chandler? I think we may share similar taste in music.
@ohsuplauren: Is it possible to pick up a decent signal from KJOE in Chandler? <> Get a DUI in Chandler, and KJOE will come to you!

@FauxSheriffJoe Have you ever worn/do you currently wear the pink underwear that the Tent City-goers get to wear?
@ohsuplauren: The wife has requested it a few times…

@FauxSheriffJoe What is your favorite Arizona city? (I’m crossing my fingers for Chandler).
@ohsuplauren: Anywhere but “Snottsdale” is fine by me.

@FauxSheriffJoe If life were in black and white, would you say that Mexicans are the ‘grey area?’
@ohsuplauren: I always liked watching Andy Griffith.

@FauxSheriffJoe Has anyone ever told you that you resemble ‘Lovelace,’ the rock hopper penguin from Happy Feet?
@ohsuplauren: I may be girthy but my eyebrows do not look like that.

@FauxSheriffJoe If your supporters and opposers got into a brawl, who do you think would win?
@ohsuplauren: While protesters have silly signs on sticks my supporters appear to enjoy carrying guns. My supporters, as always, would win.

@FauxSheriffJoe Final question, who would win in a theoretical battle to the death, you or Obama?
@ohsuplauren: Age before beauty.

@FauxSheriffJoe Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to interview you. It was a pleasure, so sorry about your poker game.
@ohsuplauren Vote Arpaio 2012 and all will be forgiven, ma’am.